What’s in my mind?

I like the idea that all the texts I read and all the images and films I watch and that I memories randomly throughout my life will be useful someday. I like this idea because it makes me feel like I have some culture, some knowledge of the world and the cultures that surround me; that I exist because I learn.

It’s not often that I have the opportunity to use that trivia. A few years ago, six or seven to be precise I went to my first pub quiz. Blinded by my young and too powerful ego, more shiny than useful, I thought I was going to finally get all that knowledge out of me and impress everyone. Surprisingly, I failed in great lengths.

Throughout the years I have been sometimes in average positions, sometimes in worst ones but overall this has been a big disappointment to me. And I felt like all the knowledge I had in me was not the right one, not the useful one.

Back in Paris, I have started to attend some pub quiz again, with some better results… and yesterday we finished second out of 23 teams. It’s not about being second, it’s not about the champagne bottle we could have won, it’s about hope, it’s about believing that we can. Yes Yvan! I believe I can do it.

I can say it now without being too pretentious: One day I will win that pub quiz. May be not next week, or next year, but one day I will sip that glass of champagne with sparkling bubbles tasting like my sparkling mind that has been set to sleep for too long.

(Pub quiz at the Green Linnet, Paris – With Páraic Maguire as quiz Master who does a extremely good job: “Stern but fair”)

The circle of life within life

It’s funny how things seems to evolve a lot and then you realize all of a sudden you are back at the same point.

Take me, for example. Four years ago, I started my first job in The City (London) in a new office, new industry and new skills… Since then I worked two years there, decided to change job, industry and continent and arrived in Africa. Learned new skills, in a new industry, in a new world. After that, I decided to go back to my first loves, back to Paris, start my business in yet a new industry.

One might the position I am in today say it’s completely different than the one our years ago.

Well it’s not. And the reason is named: Carmelia. I am back at the same spot because I just bought a plant for my new desk and I named it Carmelia…

Carmelia next to my desk in Paris

Well this reminds me of something I wrote more than 2 yeard ago.

Dive into my life

So this is it, after only a few months I am done. Or actualy I am only starting. I have spend the past six months working in my bedroom on my computer or on the phone, calling, design choosing, dismissing, buying, typing…

And now I am finaly ready to open my own little shop. My Own Little Shop, four words very simple, incredibly dull but so important to me. I have created a brand, an image, a shop, an atmosphere, a proposition for people out there on the net looking for cool clothes and cool itms to inhance there interior.

The shop is www.PirartSociety.com it sell clothes for men, pop and cool, snazzy and trendy. Some toys too or sculputures, or art design. Everything is done by Tany, handmade (for the big part). Only limited series because it’s made for the happy few…

A businessman I am

On the road to creating my business I have still a few hurdles to pass. From my point of view (artist’s eye) the business aspect of my task is only a necessary downfall of my project. Business profit being only a means to an end – the end being creation, and the mean is to feed the artist (at least) and if possible prevent him from being affected by everyday hassle of survival (oh dear!).

So coming from where I come, I do acknowledge I have a few – many (oh dear!) – lacuna and one of theme is not having a hyper-developed sens of business. So, being somewhat dedicated to my goal, one of my milestones is to improve my business skills, and so trying to develop my awareness of business opportunities. I must start to see my surroundings as a sum of economic unbalances that I should take advantage of (what am I talking about?). Nevertheless I am proud to say today that I have made an important step towards success.

Task of the day: Bargain bread price at my Boulangerie. (oh boy!)

Mission accomplished! I used the good old “That’s all the money I have, take it or leave it”. Savings of the day: 2.20% on my baguette!

De retour à Paris

Alors qu’est-ce que ça fait de rentrer à Paris?

Hm, je ne sais pas trop en tous cas il y a des choses qui m’ont manqué et que je retrouve avec joie aujourd’hui ici. Des choses personnelles et puis d’autres comme la culture. Je me souviens de ses gens d’Afrique du Sud incrédules qui ne comprennait pas que cela puisse etre si important.

Ca l’est. Et j’étais comblé hier que se tienne la nuit des musées, à laquelle j’ai participé pour la première fois.

Cet après midi, expo Dave LaChapelle et ses photos à carractère sex trach et acidulés; un peu decevant: rien de nouveau et peux d’oeuvres.

Qu’à cela ne tienne, ce sera bientôt peut être notre tour.

Year End Thumbs Up

In a few days – 7 – I wil be in the plane back to France. A little satisfaction a few weeks ago is becoming more of a relief as the time approaches.

I realise suddenly that more than a year has passed, far from my family, friends and country. I will be back in cold and dark winter but I can’t wait for my “pain au chocolat”, brioche and “eclaire au cafe” ; my streets, my champs de mars, my Paris. It’s a bliss, and one of the many perks of living abroad, it makes you realize how great home is.

Looking back at this year I must say it’s full of great memories, beauties and pride. I’m happy I have accomplished all I wanted to achieve this year, and looking at how things are going regarding work I can only wish things will continue getting better next year.

I am counting the days to when I will meet them all again.

Brush Strokes and Afterlife – or – The Cruelty of Age Discrimination

“Art is a jealous mistress and if a man has a genius for painting […] he makes a bad husband and an ill provider.” R. W. Emerson

Afterlife, after here. My next life, my next job. Where do we go from here? If I continue down the path I have been taking, at the end of this mission I will end up asking myself the same questions I couldn’t answer four months ago.

Today I contemplated a first option: the most unlikely and of course the most attractive. It’s been sitting in the back of my mind for some years now, but I never considered it seriously. Now, for some reason, it doesn’t seem as utopian as it did. May be I got accustomed to the implications, may be I lost track of what people are expected to achieve, may be I can’t remember as clearly as before what I want to become and why. Besides, I just started to understand and admit that I will not win the rat race, I have become to fat. Rack-a-tack-tack.

Go back to school and get a degree in fine arts. No, become a full time creator. Live solely on my imagination and my skills. No, earn a living by being fully dependent on other’s will to waste money on superficial and expensive things.

America. Study in the School of Art of a top University, may be in New York –to add fun to the fun – and get a bachelor’s degree in two years. I am a man with a plan. $60,000 to $80,000 for the degree. I am a bamboozled man.

Back to basics. Paris, France, my home town, my shelter. “Les Beaux Arts” one of the most prestigious Art School in the world. The admission tests seem very tough but I can cope with that. And then shock! Get out. Students must be at most 26 years old on the day of admission. All my hopes suddenly crumble down.

I’ll be starting to save – or rather find – money. Approximately 100$ a day as of today.

Down Spiral

I was surprisingly unaffected by my departure, neither exited nor worried, until last Friday. Suddenly, after this weekend I started do get slightly depressed.

After: I’m worse

So, I think we should make a law to prevent what I call hair cutters from auto-proclaiming themselves “hair stylists”. The one I paid – I need to mention it as people might think it could have been a free job – was barely a hair cutter, just good enough to shave sheep.

At the end, she said:

Is that short enough?

Did I ever say I wanted them short! It’s a ridiculous hairdo, If I had been her, I would have apologized and tried to make thing better… Now that I think of it may be she was asking “Is that short enough?” (so that nobody can fix it!).

That’s me after…

Before: I’m fine

Now is the difficult time of the year when I need to get a haircut. I want something a bit trendy, a bit corporate too. I fear the worse: I am always disappointed.

That’s a picture of me before…